I knew nothing about caring for aging parents. I was off to college, jobs, marriage, and kids while, unbeknownst to me, my parents were aging.

Sure, I was there with them in the hospital when they had their surgeries. I cared for them the best I could while working and living several hours away. I spoke to them often.

My dad had heart by-pass surgery in his 50s, cancer in his 60s, and passed away in the chair in my parent’s living room at age 64. Mom pretty much took care of everything. I spoke at his funeral; not much changed from my perspective.

An Abrupt Introduction to Long-Term Care

15 years later, Mom started having “episodes.” She had a hospital stay, was moved to a skilled care nursing for rehabilitation, then home. After 4-5 of these “episodes,” I received a call from the skilled care nursing facility telling me Mom had maxed out her 100 days of skilled care on Medicare.

I had no idea what she was talking about.

No one in my life ever talked to me about end-of-life care. I didn’t know anything about Medicare, medical costs, insurance, where to live, Powers of Attorney, bank accounts, paying bills, tax returns…nothing.

Suddenly, I realized I needed to hop on this very steep learning curve so I could figure out what to do with Mom.

The Hazards of Delayed Planning

I quickly learned that Mom was of sound mind and planned to make her own decisions. After one of the hospital and skilled care nursing cycles, it was recommended that she move to an assisted living facility.

I did a ton of research, visited many facilities, and made arrangements to move her there…which we did.

I went back home and 5 days later received a call from my mom insisting I move her back home…tomorrow! Apparently, she visited the main office and learned that if she left the facility within the first 7 days, she would not need to pay for a whole month. Back I went…moving her home. The county made a visit to her home. They deemed that she was living in unsafe conditions; however, there was nothing any of us could do about it.

The Challenges of Caregiving

For the next 4 years, Mom lived in her home, in her wheelchair, on oxygen, with neighbors and friends helping to meet her needs. I was there a few days every month to take her to doctor appointments, hair appointments, the bank, shopping, to care for her car, clean her home, prepare food for the freezer, etc.

One very early morning Mom’s neighbor called. Mom had called her at three in the morning, because she fell asleep at the kitchen table and fell out of her wheelchair. She had a huge gash in her calf and there was blood everywhere. Mom’s dinner was still baking in the oven.

I knew then it was time to explore some other options. I contacted a home health care agency to provide some care for Mom sporadically throughout the week. Mom hated it. She complained vehemently to me about the people that came to help her.

After a year or so, the nurse called to tell me Mom needed hospice care. We moved Mom to a beautiful hospice home where we learned how her body was going to slowly pass away. The average stay was 21 days. Mom lived 14.

Helping Others Plan

Fast forward 20 years and now I make it a point to conduct long-term care conversations with every client. My hope is to help others avoid some of the pitfalls my family had to overcome.

What is Long-Term Care?

Long-term care is a range of services you may need to meet your personal care needs. Most long-term care is not medical, but rather assists with the basic personal tasks of everyday life, called Activities of Daily Living (ADLs), and everyday tasks called Instrumental Activities of Daily Living (IADLs).

Who Needs Long-Term Care?

Recent research suggests most Americans turning 65 will need long-term care services at some point in their lives.

The older you are, the more likely you will need long-term care. Women outlive men by about five years, so they are more likely to live at home alone when they are older.

How Much Care Will I Need?

The duration and level of long-term care varies from person to person and often changes over time.

The statistics are staggering:

• Someone turning 65 has nearly a 70% chance of needing some type of long-term care in their remaining years.
• Women need care longer than men. (3.7 years for women – 2.2 years for men)
• One-third of today’s 65-year-olds may never need long-term care; however, 20% will need it for longer than 5 years.

Who Will Provide My Care?

Long-term care services typically come from:

• An unpaid caregiver, such as a family member or friend
• A nurse, home health care aide, and/or therapist who comes to the home
• Adult day care services in the community
• A variety of long-term care facilities

Who Pays for my Care?

There are many limitations for long-term care coverage. You need to do your research. These are the coverage options available:

• Medicare
• Medigap
• Medicaid
• Health insurance
• Long-term care insurance
• Private pay

Cost of Long-Term Care

The cost of long-term care depends on the type and duration of the care you need, the providers you use, and where you live.

Genworth has created a Cost of Care Survey tool that estimates the cost of long-term care across the U.S. For example, in Denver, CO, here are the estimates as of 2023:

Where you live matters.  How you plan your care matters. Make plans today to create your long-term care plan for the benefit of yourself and your loved ones.

For more information about assisted care and creating a long-term care plan, download our free comprehensive Long-Term Care Planning Guide.

Source Material: LongTermCare.gov